Wednesday, October 25, 2006

10.25.06 From the Depths of Morning

It's early and I'm stealing bandwidth again. Difference is that I haven't been motivated or seemingly capable of moving myself into any kind of coherent thought or action for some days now. Strange as it may sound, being disconnected from the internet has been a part of it. That problem should be remedied tomorrow. Until then I've found a corner in the far bedroom, the only bedroom in fact, where there often seems to be some unused bit of bandwidth I can snatch. So here I am.

As on all mornings, there is no way to give a Franky Scale this early, but if I gave one for last night it'd be a mid-5. The nights have been diminished of late, for a variety of factors, though the main one is pain. The neurolytic block seems to have done approximately zero good, looking at it from this point, and at night there have been numerous occasions of good old "break-through pain." What can you do? As Dr. Whiting said some time ago when I was experiencing a previous increase of pain: "The pain is your cancer talking."

Not comforting, but I guess, not a thought meant to be. Just one of those cold, chiseled, statements of what is real.

We'll see how long I can maintain this today, maybe return later, perhaps add something about life these days, but for now, top of the morning to you.


Anonymous said...

Missed you Scott! I HATE the fact that you are experiencing increased pain. Cancer sucks.

Anonymous said...

and you!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Jones.......dear Professor....
I must confess it is difficult to write a comment these days I don't know what to write. I try to write and find myself deleting my words over and over again and again.
There is so much I want to convey....
Back a few months ago is it now someone commented that you are teaching us. It is so true. So similar to your sugar coating......
how do we, how do I thank you for being here....?
You are still in here ---pointing at heart and head at the same time---

Slarry said...

Wed. October 25, 2006

I am so glad you were able to borrow some “bandwidth” and excited
about the whole connection process tomorrow. Whew !!! Have missed your
words, thoughts, musings and pondering.

That Block Procedure--- what a disappoint and a pain. I only want uninterrupted sleep,
decreased to no episodes of pain and good conversation and food for you.
I’m “sick of the cancer talking” --- it deserves no mouth, no audience.

Hope you and Ms. K are settling into your new digs. I will have to think of
the perfect house warming gift. Any suggestions ??

Glyconutrients ?? On their way or already there ? From what I’ve read, they seem fairly helpful and solid. I’ll be sending some $$ your way. Help to defray the cost a bit
and maybe enough for a massage or a night out somewhere cozy for the two of you.

Speaking of cozy-- I went to work this morning in shorts and now we currently have both fireplaces blazing --- as it decided to SNOW !!!! Only in Utah-- Four seasons
in one day. It’s beautiful though.

No news on the Hannibal Lector Liver. I don’t think that even he
would want mine. : ) Hopefully tomorrow.

Anyone out there in Mr. Jones’s blog land that is in need of a Treadmill, recumbent
bike or a Snazzy 125 cc Scooter ?? : ) Selling everything that isn’t bolted down to the floor--- well, except for Lefty and the goofy canines. The Art of Shedding is very
freeing. How little one can do with. Getting rid of the superfluous -- seems to make ones
life more REAL, more meaningful. Keeps you grounded. A lesson I learned from you,
my brave and honest brother.

I’m so excited about Brother S’s “Straight as an Arrow” soon to be visit. I love
him. Dude. He never visits us. Dammit. : )
Hey, Mr. Myage: we miss you and D and your beautiful babies. Gee, I wish you
lived closer. : ) When you are up in the Emerald City please, please, please
give Mr. Jones a big, fat squeeze for me. We kind of like him. And have K
and Mr. Jones have you try my new favorite food: pho soup. Yummers.

Ok everyone-- lets keep blogging and writing. Will we be hearing from
Ms. DZD as a guest blogger ?? Her thoughts and impressions ?? WOW.
We love her too.

Sleep well - Mom wants me to post a poem for her tomorrow.
She is a cutie. We sure got lucky there. 80 years young and she still took the time to
come & visit me after St. Marks and brought with her some warm, fresh cherry cobbler.
Keep in touch. WE MISS YOU.
Big love and huge thoughts-- always.

Slarry --- still baffled by the early SNOW.
I remembered the Sabbath, just didn't attend.