Saturday, June 24, 2006

6.24.06 Saturday: Could Have Been a Horse

Let's say Franky Scale of 7,

the sun is up and Seattle's going to prove its good weather bona fides,
the secret of Seattle its residents hide behind all the stories of rain, so I hear.

Low 70s today, no bugs, no humidity. This morning I'm gathering sources, collecting some books, and outlining chapters for the "one book" I'm trying to get done right now. A memoir of sorts, or out of sorts; it's a broad enough genre to admit whatever schlock I'm going to add and I this seemed to be one project I'll enjoy while I do it and then hopefully my family and a few friends might enjoy it later. We shall see.

Yesterday I was sacked out most of the day and missed my daily post — somehow the end-of-cycle chemo fatigue caught up and kind of kicked my ass for several hours. All was sleep. The good thing is, however, that yesterday was the last day of the chemo drug-taking period and I am a pleased boy to be past that now. Eat breakfast and then NOT take the nasty toxic pills; eat dinner, same. During the week off you can feel your body begin to fight back, to restore some of what it's lost, to regain some ground, to filter out some of that toxic shit that fights the cancer (and so many other fast-reproducing cells in the body).

Makes me wonder, how many more cycles? Is it possible for chemotherapy to go on forever? Likely not, there will be one or the other solution, "solution," the chemo will beat out the cancer and the body will remain strong enough, or the cancer will outsmart the chemo, and that's it.

I think the answer to everything is here, it arrived this morning. As my oldest sister was telling me on the phone, "You coulda been born a horse." So I'm still sitting here trying to determine what it means? What could it mean? Deep? Mystical truth? Or...?

And to David's comments — David who deserves a "Happy Birthday," no? A highly spiritual martini on me; although I hope its effects are solidly materialist. A birthday in Seoul, watch out because I think that means that you pick up the tab. Enjoy.


spacely said...

Spot I don't know if that was a rhetorical question or you really wanted someones thoughts on the "horse" thing? So here goes... for me it's when things are going kind of weird for me, my mother-in-law trudy says, "Well you could be pregnant!!" That is not something that makes a 46 year old jump up and down, but it always makes me smile and think. Because you could have been born a horse instead of the fabulous spot tricia and he's part of a fabulous family who loves him, we might make you crazy sometimes but we love your butt! So you choose...would you have wanted to be born a horse or the great spot tricia who has alot of great people and great experience in his HUGE life?
I hate the fact that you have cancer...hate it, hate it, hate it!! But you no what?! If you HAD been born a horse, I wouldn't have had YOU, my favorite brother.....

dzd said...

wait, but you were born in the year of the sheep :) oh well, horse, sheep, they're all the same right?