8.14.06, Do Not Mismanage

I tried to keep today from being too hectic and planned out, neither of which characteristics are very good for calm and rejuvenation. But in the end I slacked off and missed a pain dose this afternoon and by about 8 p.m. or so I was perplexed and why the hell I was in so much pain. First goal, then, was to eliminate the pain, get back on top of it; second goal, find out whether it was breakthrough pain, something new, or what. Once I was up from lying down in order to get my body in check, always on either side never on the back, I realized it was Stupidity Pain. A whole new category. And goddam the stuff can be tiring; there is something very draining about pain as if one area hurts but a dozen related areas must tense up or respond in their own ways too.

So the Franky Scale, based on context as it is and being posted after all that, is 5. Not the model patient day for me, more like the day of the suck patient. Though I do want to do a better job for the next few days because the new chemo regimen will begin on Thursday, and chemo is always less fun than other days.

I'll ponder the events of Zion and Utah a bit further before reporting more about this trip. Tomorrow's the last day. Half day, then off with my carry-on full of gels and liquids to the airport.

On this last point, and I hope this won't be asking for trouble, but if there are any of you who would like to know specifics about family dynamics in the terminal cancer process, please send me a comment and ask. Perhaps anyone going through this might wonder how one family does it, tries to get through it, and maybe some interactive q & a will help. Just a thought.