Monday, July 10, 2006
7.10.06, Brief Check-In
Perhaps it's a purely psychosomatic issue, with the IV chemo session on for tomorrow, but this evening into tonight I've been feeling increasingly "out of it." More psychological than anything else, I'm sure of that. Still the "reality" of it. This would put me at a flat 6 on the Franky Scale. And in part what felt like a better day earlier, working in a cafe, being in a bookstore for a while, etc., turns downward with increasing nausea. That is definitely psychosomatic — I think I alluded to this earlier with a comment about Pavlov, or dogs, or me as dog, or as Pavlov, in any event starting to feel "sick" even before the needle is in. I can even know this, expect it, even plan for it, so why can't I just make it not happen? With that, a bit of lightness in the head, and at least the illusion that I'll start reading a new book tonight, I better close.