6.01.06, Open Letter to the Anonymous Mormon

“An Open Letter on Missing the Forest for a Few Trees”

[Dear Friends and Readers, the following letter is my reply to a person who posted a comment last night, a comment you can link to through the previous blog post on "Heavy Soul?"--it's the second comment. The person posted as "anonymous" but also using the pseudonym "Neptune." For my non-mormon friends, forgive the occasional obstruse reference (a quick Google should find what you need, or email me), but you will get the tone and gist of his post and my reply without difficulty. For my mormon or christian friends, who are supportive and with whom I have relationships of mutual respect, you'll already know that the points I make in this letter refer to one person, this anonymous "Neptune," and they are a specific reply to the comment made, or rather the intent behind it. -Mr. J.]


Dear Uninvited Mormon Person:

So what do we know about you from your comment? Clearly you are a Mormon — congratulations. Surely you made your choice to become LDS once you had past the callow age of 38; or instead was it that you had full cognizance of the consequences of the entire belief system and of your actions at the spiritually mature age of eight when you were likely baptized? What else do we know? You’re male, you’re older than 38, you lack decency. Clearly the LDS church has instilled in you that too common Christian virtue of accusatory self-righteousness — oh, wait, that’s not a virtue from the Holy Scriptures, is it? In fact, not even the Mormon additions to the good book advocate it. Hm, oh well. As I was saying, clearly you have been blessed with self-righteousness and the capacity to judge another’s heart, but sadly you were not given any balls — though I’m sure you are a priesthood holder. On the subject of balls, Neptune — or should I call you Kolob? — why do you not stand up for what you believe and what you choose to preach so disrespectfully in a forum where anyone blessed with Christian empathy, or plain old human empathy, would know their comments are unwelcome (not just by me, but by hundreds of my friends in this time of need, a time you also have disrespected), why don’t you grow some balls and identify yourself? (And you will note, I decided to reply to your post, rather than simply raise myself above it, because you deeply disturbed someone I love, someone who is grieving now, something apparently you cannot understand as you polish your stone.)

I have reasons, perhaps certain professional and personal ones, for not fully making my name, etc. available to any stranger on the web — but most all my readers and my supporters know who I am. Perhaps you will choose to respect this, or not, that is your choice. So we all know who I am, while you hide. What is it you have to lose? What do you fear? Now is your moment to make friends and influence people, the field is white all ready to harvest. Your moment to show all these good readers what a good, nee even model, Mormon citizen looks like. What is it to you what I have done with my agency, my knowledge, and my experiences in my short 38 years? What is to you, Elder Anonymous? Your behavior vaguely reminds me of a presumptuous Mormon Bishop who chose to disrespect an untimely deceased 23-year old nephew of mine, his family, and his loved ones by offering strangely defensive and uninvited opinions of his from a funeral pulpit just over a year ago. Tis sad to see an individual’s personal ideology totally cloud his capacity for careful reading / listening, yet such is the case with most all sawdust ceasars and would-be demagogues. But that’s another story.

So here we find ourselves in a moment I think, objectively, we can call tragic. Go read your scriptures more carefully, go seek counsel from someone who is genuinely religious; perhaps go and ask the question: What would Jesus do? Would he hide his identity and, pardon my French but, would he be such an insensitive prick as to intrude in a forum — my blog — where people are seeking what solace they can? Where people are in pain, where they grieve, where they can share what is important to them? Would a “real” Christian, who should care to ease the pain of others, interfere like this with his petty desires to be proven “right”? Clearly you’ve lived longer than my short 38 years and yet all your existence does is prove the point that it is neither age nor authority that brings wisdom, compassion, empathy, or respect for another’s pain. Let me spell it out for you — whatever I believe, I am walking straight into death and trying to hold my head up as I do so, show some respect for me, my family, and my loved ones at this time.

Although I dislike the counterfactual, remember that even if you were right — sorry but this doctrinal irony is irresistable — remember that there is no Hell in the Mormon belief system. Have you never learned this? First off, I could never be a candidate for Outer Darkness, so no luck there. Go study it again. No brimstone, no fire, no eternal damnation. Secondly, your buddy Joseph Smith had a vision, remember, in which he was shown the Telestial Kingdom (the least glorious of the three kingdoms where humans can go after this life), and what did he report? If I may paraphrase, he said “It is so incredibly beautiful there that you would take you own life to go there immediately if you could see it!”

And do not fear, Elder, this is not “the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture” — this is merely the philosophy of one man, mortal, human, fallible, and faced with a challenge which you should pray to your god you never have to face. If I didn’t know people like you better, I would be stunned at your insensitivity. I recall one of the low points of American history, the tail end of a witch hunt with Welch’s inquiry to McCarthy; I recall this line and ask it of you but change the word Senator for Elder: “Have you no sense of decency, Elder? Have you no sense of decency?” Or should I say in language closer to your heart, in the carpenter’s idiom: “It must be nice to be worthy enough to cast the first stone”?

In sum, and with all the respect that is your due, kiss my ass, and sign your name next time, dearest Kolob.

Sincerely Yours,
Mr. Jones

Franky Scale: 6-7