AFTERMATH: Life WIthout My Brother and MOM

THE AFTERMATH Holidays without Scott and Mom




I still can’t imagine my life without my brother and Mom being an
every day part of it. I know it is real, as real as it has been,
for the last eleven months. The knot in the pitt of
my stomach is a constant reminder.

It has been almost a year since Scott passed away.
I guess for the most part, I am doing ok; functioning, getting up in the morning
going about, and doing, what appears to be my life.
Yet, there are times when the "two-by-four" feeling and thud, strikes
me with a blow and force, that knocks me down on my
emotional ass. I stay there for a while and think and wonder...
The shock and emptiness of it all. The harsh, tragic realities that happen,
in this thing we call life.

As much as I sit here, stagnating, thinking and wondering,
I already know what they want me to do.
Stand up, shake myself off,
and get on with things; my life. LIVING.
That is what Scott asked of and wished for me,
mere hours before he died.
Not distracting myself from the pain and emptiness I feel-
but how to live and carry on inspite of it.

Scott believed that distraction is an activity that averts
our eyes from seeing what is really happening, all that is REAL.
Yes, I am a grieving sister and daughter, yes, the loss of my brother and mom
will follow me wherever I go.
I won’t distract myself from the pain that surrounds me.
I will follow their lead-
and LIVE.
Enjoy and be grateful, for all that I have.
The family and friends I have been
so richly blessed with.
Grateful for those who love and care for my brother and Mom.

Be grateful for even the mundane.
They were.

loves and hugs.
I, we, all miss you so very much.

love,

Slarry

In Memory Of Nadine Swaner, our Mom

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY
For our beloved Mother:

NADINE COX SWANER

September 13, 1927 ---- January 13, 2006

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Dear family, friends and loved ones,
Today, at 3:25 pm, our wonderful, beautiful Mother, Wife, Grandmother, Aunt and friend,
Nadine Cox Swaner, died at the Huntsman Cancer Institute,
surrounded by her family.

It was only one week ago that we were together with many of you,
as we grieved, honored and paid tribute to our brother, her son, Scott.
They were such dear and tender friends and so close.
Their bond and love for one another was deeper and stronger than anyone could imagine.
As tragic as the loss is that we feel today, we are grateful knowing they are not alone.
But together; able to enjoy, laugh and learn from each other, as they always have.
They are both now free from pain. This brings us some comfort.

The loss of our Mom, the loss of a Mother is especially difficult.
She has loved, protected and taught us so, so much.
She is unique in all the world. We count ourselves particularly lucky
and blessed to have been hers.

She is grand, eloquent, beautiful, selfless and long suffering.
She will be remembered most for her graciousness, generosity,
unconditional and boundless love and strength. She lived a determined and purposeful life.
She is the strongest woman we know. Her faith and love for her Heavenly Father is unparalleled.

A gentle woman, with a twinkle in her eyes and a smile that could light up every room
and brighten any heart. She brightened all of ours.

We love you Mom! Infinitely and Eternally.
We will always miss you more than you will ever know.
Our hearts are broken and we are so, so sad.
No one, and nothing prepares one adequately for the loss, the death of your Mother.
We promise that we will love and cling to one another, forever and always
and think of you every minute of every day
and be grateful for every stolen moment and memory we shared with you.

Loves,

Sue, Sheri, Stacey ( and Scott )

We know that for many of you, our Mom’s death comes as a shock.
Many of you were not aware that she was ill.
Please feel free to contact us and we will help as best we can.

Sue Swaner: albeez_90@hotmail.com
Sheri Swaner: sschapin50@gmail.com
Stacey Swaner Moore: pancreasboy@comcast.net


A Mother's Love
~
A mother's love determines how
 we love ourselves and others.

There is no sky we'll ever see

Not lit by that first love.
Stripped of love, the universe

Would drive us mad with pain;

But we are born into a world

That greets our cries with joy.
How much I owe you for the kiss

That told me who I was.

The greatest gift--a love of life--
Lay laughing in your eyes.

Because of you my world still has

The soft grace of your smile;

And every wind of fortune bears

The scent of your caress.

Nicholas Gordon